11:35 pm
advantage checking account gives you an extra day to avoid an overdraft fee. nice to see a bank cutting people some slack. mistakes happen. and we give you time to correct them. so, you don't like gnomes huh? what about that one? that one i like. a lot. ♪ bmo ♪ >> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live" with guest host, jeff goldblum. tonight -- mark wahlberg, rob delaney, and music from grace bowers and the hodge podge.
11:36 pm
with cleto and the cletones. and now, jeff goldblum. ♪ [ cheering and applause ] >> thanks. [ cheering ] >> jeff: imagine this, oh my god. look at all of you. you are so sweet. you are so sweet. i'm so happy to be here. hey, welcome to "jimmy kimmel live!.” [ cheering ] i'm your guest host, my name is jeff goldblum. [ cheering and applause ]
11:37 pm
a lot of you at this point may be thinking, "hey, what's jeff goldblum doing here. am i having that recurring sex dream again?” and the answer is, "pinch me and find out.” not many people know this, but jimmy kimmel and i, this is true, are actually neighbors here in l.a. yeah, that's true. i'm not going to tell you where exactly. i don't want you showing up. but one time, listen to this, i knocked on his door and said hey, jimmy, he came to the door. i said hey, can i borrow some flour for this and that. he said "sure thing, jeff.” he disappeared, came back with the flour. and i said, "thanks neighbor. if you ever need anything, let me know.”
11:38 pm
and now here we are. [ laughter ] [ applause ] i think i got the better end of that deal. he is a very generous, generous guy. by the way, i'm not just happy to be here, i'm lucky to be here. because, i don't know if you felt it this afternoon, there was a 4.4 earthquake right here in los angeles. oh, yeah. i don't know if this is an omen. i don't really believe in that kind of thing. but we were here, doing my first day here. i'm going to be here for a few days here. but it was my first day, sure enough, we were 20 minutes into it, i don't know what, an earthquake here in the studio. you know what we did? there were 50 people here, the whole staff, he has a lot of staff, they're here watching my little rehearsal. it starts. and guillermo, you were right there. you know what everybody did? nothing. nothing.
11:39 pm
i think that everybody was a little embarrassed because nobody wanted to be kind of a chicken person to go oh, i better launch into my plan in case this is the big one. so everybody just kind of did, or we didn't have a plan. but i think i should have taken as many people as i could have. there was a lovely lady producer here, some of us, we should have made a dive under that desk, or any of that, right. and if i didn't turn out to be the big one, which they say is possibly coming, then it turns out oh, sorry, there we go. now how about you, guillermo? you uttered something. you had an ejacul*tion of some kind in the middle of that. vocally. vocally. what did you say? >> guillermo: i said oh [ bleep ]! [ laughter ] i'm scared of earthquakes. >> jeff: but any way, hey, you were the former and possibly still security person. that means you're in charge of everybody's safety.
11:40 pm
do you know anything about what we should do really if an earthquake hits? what should we do? >> guillermo: listen, don't panic and go under the tables. [ laughter ] that's what i would do. yeah, look for a table. >> or something, yeah, yeah, yeah. any way, we'll look it up. we should all do research and be ready. any ways that's my public service announcement. but that really happened. i can't believe it. did you feel? really? i guess centered in pasadena. it was like a 4.4. so not too much. hopefully nobody got hurt. i haven't heard any reports. hopefully, everybody is okay. anyway, hey, now that i think of it, there is other big news around here in los angeles, because the olympics -- [ cheering ] -- which we may have been
11:41 pm
recently obsessed with, i do the horse. i do that horse. i'm going to be in the next olympics. don't crush my dream. i'm going train every day. i'm going win that gold. [ applause ] i'm not going to do the pole vaulting. you know why. i can't. i can't. i can't. okay. some people are just built for that, you know. hey, no, but they're coming. the olympics are going to come here in 2028, of course. and this is kind of fun. i hear they're putting an l.a. twist on some of the events. yes. there's going to be, for instance, what i hear, face-lifting, [ laughter ] a farm-to-table tennis, and the 50-meter name drop. that's what i hear. hey, this is fun. you know what just occurred to me?
11:42 pm
somebody told me one time, you should never, jeff goldblum, don't ever, ever name drop. you know who told me that? robert de niro. [ applause ] that's our show. drive safely. here's an interesting tidbit i came across today. according to a new study from harvard university, no less, celebrities, quote, play an influential role in getting americans to vote in elections. that's right. celebrities like guillermo and myself much less wield a tremendous amount of power. before i did all those apartments.com commercials, virtually nobody had even heard of an apartment. oh, yeah. now they're all the rage with the kids. oh, yeah.
11:43 pm
apartments this, apartments that. very exciting week for me. very, very exciting week. well, look, i'm hosting a late night talk show for heaven's sakes. [ cheering and applause ] i'm pinching myself. i'm pinching myself. wow. well, let's see how i do today. hold your applause until the end. but i also have a new netflix series about the greek gods. i play zeus, yes. it's a show coming out on netflix called "kaos," k-a-o-s. brett good. it's coming. all eight episodes drop, as they say, august 29th. besides that, oh, i've got my own line of designer glass. these are one of them. jacques marie is the company. it's the jeff.
11:44 pm
and i'm opening, listen to this, i haven't said this before. you're the first to know. i'm opening a new restaurant based on that movie that i was in "the fly.” yeah. yeah. it's a fast, casual restaurant you know, like an applebee's, you know, burgers and salads. but you've got to vomit on your food and slurp it up. so a lot going on. i have a lot of projects. a lot of irons in the fire. [ applause ] i'm cooking a lot of things in the fire. on top of all that, i'm also something of a jazz musician. i like to play jazz. i'm a humble student. my band, the jeff goldblum and the mildred snitzer orche going to be performing tomorrow night on this stage, on this
11:45 pm
stage. so as long as i'm here, i can't help myself i guess, and with your kind indulgence, if i may offer a little musical appetizer. might i? [ cheering ] okay. bring out the piano. so thank you, thank you. [ cheering and applause ] thank you, guys. thank you. thank you so much. look, look at this. oh, boy. hey, that's a nice piano. oh, they all laughed when i sat down to play the piano. very good. alex, your count. ♪ one, two, one, two, three. ♪ hello friends, how you, willkommen bienvenue ♪ ♪ to the earth girls a most gracious greeting ♪ ♪ these are big shoes to fill, so i'll maintain the bill
11:46 pm
chill ♪ ♪ telling jokes while the folks are mean tweeting ♪ ♪ i have planned i've rehearsed i've prepared for the worst ♪ ♪ and i hope to heck that everything goes right ♪ ♪ like a vip guest at the grand budapest ♪ ♪ i am hosting for kimmel tonight ♪ [ applause ] ♪ with guillermo on hand and cleto's swingin' jazz band, this evening is sure to be classic ♪ ♪ with these stars on the bill i can promise a thrill, better far than a park that's jurassic ♪ ♪ it's my late night premiere and with jimmy not here then matt damon we can finally invite ♪
11:47 pm
♪ and even if i still bomb i've got apartments.com so i'm hosting on kimmel tonight ♪ oh, yeah, baby! [ applause ] ♪ ♪ i am just an average joe what's a zaddy i don't know ♪ ♪ i'm no idol with the title of grajd grand master ♪ ♪ but i'm stylish and i'm all the, i'm not the fly on the wall ♪ ♪ is this song running long must go faster now the shows bout to start ♪ ♪ with a song in my heart i'm like a big hot air balloon that's taking flight ♪ ♪ despite a few wicked flaws i'm the wizard of oz ♪
11:48 pm
♪ and i'm hosting for kimmel tonight ♪ ♪ let this party commence we have spared no expense ♪ ♪ bring the cue cards because i'm really not that bright ♪ ♪ life, uh, finds a way ♪ ♪ see this guy from pa is live coast to coast ♪ ♪ i'm not one to boast but i'm hosting kimmel tonight ♪ [ cheering and applause ]
11:49 pm
>> jeff: we have a wonderful show for you tonight. rob delaney is here. [ cheering ] we've got music from grace bowers and the hodge podge. [ cheering ] and we'll be right back with mark wahlberg. [ cheering ] mark wahlberg. [ cheermom, dad. the new ♪ school year is a chance >> lou: abc's "jimmy kimmel live!" brought to you by target get. you know how i love dinos? how i talk about dinos all the time? like at all three meals, in the car, through the bathroom door, blah blah blah, dinos dinos dinos? well, i've evolved! and it's all about sharks now. so, for back to school, let's just focus on sharks and only sharks and if it's not sharks, it's not for me.
11:50 pm
♪ sure there's food at home, but is there a mcdouble with extra pickles, a side of fries and a hi-c at home? don't be ridiculous. ♪ some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking allstate first. you drive in today? of course not, there's no parking. like you know to check the sign first, before parking. do you hear it? i hear it. i feel like i do hear it. oh! aww, man. why didn't you read the sign? think you can pay a parking ticket in heirloom tomatoes? yeah, checking first is smart. so check allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. you're in good hands with allstate. your gut is like a garden growing both good bacteria and bad. that balance is key to a healthy gut environment. benefiber's plant-based prebiotic fiber gently nourishes the good bacteria, working with your body to help your gut,
11:51 pm
and you, flourish. effortlessly. every day. grow what feels good. with benefiber. time to press rewind with... neutrogena rapid wrinkle repair. it has derm-proven retinol... ...expertly formulated... ...to target skin cell turnover... ...and fights not one—but 5 signs of aging. with visible results... ...in just one week. neutrogena [cough] honey... honey. nyquil severe honey. powerful cold and flu relief with a dreamy honey taste nyquil honey, why choose a mobile network built for places you'll probably never be... ...instead of for where you are most of the time? xfinity mobile was designed for where you need it most. now xfinity internet customers can buy one line
11:52 pm
of unlimited and get one free for a year. frosted flakes good, they're grrreat! grrreat! grrreat! grrreat! grrreat! they're still great, grandpa. see, told ya. [laughter] they're grrreat! [laughter] dangerous ladders. gutter muck. yuck. no wonder you hate cleaning your gutters. good thing there's leaffilter. our patented filter technology keeps leaves and debris out of your gutters forever. guaranteed. call 833- leaffilter to get started. and get the permanent gutter solution that ends clogs for good. they took the time to answer all of our questions. they really put us at ease. end clogged gutters for good. call 833.leaf.filter, or visit leaffilter.com today. depend keeps you drier than ever... so you can say yes to more than ever. yes yes yes
11:53 pm
no. depend, the only thing stronger than us, is you.
11:54 pm
♪ >> jeff: welcome back. welcome back. cleto and the cletones, my god, aren't they great? they were so great. thank you for doing that. [ cheering ] i was just -- i don't think not being here, you didn't hear. you at home didn't hear him sing. i love that stevie wonder song. that's so great. >> oh, thank you. >> crazy. wow. any way, before we move on, i
11:55 pm
want to offer a million thanks to cleto and the cletones and my band leader alex frank who wrote that song, along with spencer day that i performed in the monologue. [ cheering ] and get this, he was my vocal coach on that movie "wicked" that's coming to theaters this november. [ cheering and applause ] hey, tonight on the show a very funny man that you know from "deadpool & wolverine," his new show is called "bad monkey.” rob delaney is with us. [ cheering ] then later, an artist based in nashville, tennessee. she started playing guitar when she was 9 years old, and now nine years later, let me see, math isn't my strong suit, 18, she must be 18, she is making her television debut. her album, let me show you this, look at this, it's called "wine on venus.”
11:56 pm
[ cheering and applause ] i like that title. "wine on venus.” that came out friday. music from grace bowers and the hodge podge. [ cheering and applause ] now me, i'm going to be hosting all week with my guests john cena and greg kinnear and awkwafina and many, many more. our first guest tonight, their impressive resume boasts rapper, oscar-emmy-golden globe nominated actor and producer, restauranteur, and that's just the first page. it goes on and on and on. he has quite the ouever. you know what that means? i think it means egg, but it's his body of work. you can see him co-star
11:57 pm
alongside the great halle berry in the action film "the union." it premieres friday on 234e9 flicks. please welcome mark wahlberg. [ cheering and applause ] ♪ >> jeff: look at you. isn't this cool? >> i can't believe we've never met. >> jeff: how is that possible? and we never have, right? >> i've never gotten to work with the legend. >> jeff: well, you're a legend. i sit at your feet. i hope very soon. you're working like crazy. you do one thing after another. you're the most working -- >> i never know when the bottom is going to fall out. i got to keep going. >> jeff: gosh, you have no bottom. it's never going to fall out. you look fantastic. i've never seen you before.
11:58 pm
let me see you. you've got a -- is that a tattoo? >> yes, that's my wife's name in case i'm not wearing my ring or i'm working. she said to me, oh my god -- i got this on valentine's day one year. she said that's the nicest thing you've ever done. can i have back the expensive jewelry and you just get you one of these too? and there we go. >> jeff: isn't that sweet? that's your wife's name. >> that's the only tattoo. reah. that's the only remaining tattoo i have. i got all the other tattoos removed. >> jeff: is that painful, may i ask? >> terribly painful. they promise you it's very quick, a couple of visits. it took me many years. i was trying to get them removed by the time i was going to do "the fighter." every time i did a movie, if i had to take my shirt off, cover it all up with makeup. agonizing experience. i was trying to get it done. it took me five years to get them completely removed. and it's like hot baking grease getting flicked on you over and over and over. hopefully the technology has advanced. >> jeff: hot bacon grease flicked on you.
11:59 pm
some people would find that pleasurable. [ laughter ] >> nowadays you can't tell people. >> jeff: funny i knew i was going like you. hey, do you think i've ever had a tattoo in my life? >> probably in a place that you're not allowed to show on television. >> jeff: yeah. no, no. i don't have. but i should. there is so much i want to talk to you about. >> shoot. you don't know where to start. >> jeff: there is so many places we could start. you live now in las vegas. >> yes. >> jeff: thank you for coming here. you came from australia. you must be exhausted, but you look fresh as a daisy. >> i flew in from australia friday night. i fly back tonight, and right back to the set of a new film that i'm shooting. so i wanted to come and see you this is a big deal.
12:00 am
it's not every day that jeff comes here to host this show. so i'm here. [ cheering ] i'm excited to talk about the movie. >> jeff: well, gentlemen ye. yes. people should see your movie "union.” >> yes. >> jeff: and you're shooting in australia, which is very exotic, and, you know, i bet there is things you encounter there. hopefully not sharks. >> no sharks, but a lot of kangaroos. the first movie i did, i just shot a movie from there february to june, didn't see a single kangaroo. i said what's going on. there is no such thing as kangaroos here. now i'm on the gold coast and can't go on the golf course without seeing herds of kangaroos. i heard there is literally 48 million kangaroos in the country and literal i will only 13 million people. >> jeff: wow, how many kangaroos is that? long division is not my strong suit. >> you had a hard time adding 9 plus 9. i didn't want to throw that. >> jeff: you're watching. i am a terrible speller. >> math, i have to be fairly good at. but don't ask me to do that equation right now.
12:01 am
>> jeff: well, you're a man of you've got four? >> four kids. they're getting big now, which is really the reason i went from lovely los angeles to vegas, because i had four teenagers, and raising teenagers here is tough. and so i figured even though you think vegas you, think the strip. but think summerlin where you have churches and schools and great communities and really tight knit families. and you can see the strip, but it looks too far to get so. so my kids don't try to venture down there, which is good. >> jeff: because i heard you talking about one of your -- because discipline, which you have discovered in your life. >> yes. >> jeff: i know i have. i didn't come to me early on either. >> no. i really wish it did. with this movie that i'm doing with halle, we haven't been together for 25 years. people are talking about if you could go back and do anything differently. if i could apply myself in the way i do now then, i think the trajectory of my life would have been different. i wouldn't have so much explaining to do with my kids, why i didn't go to college and
12:02 am
why i didn't get my diploma until i was 42 and all this other things. >> jeff: i agree. i agree. well, big trouble. big trouble. >> cutting to a commercial. >> jeff: that reminds me -- yes. there is so much i want to talk about. >> have we not started rolling yet? [ applause ] i can't believe we haven't met before. >> jeff: no. i can't believe it. because i went to wahlberger's once, and i got a nice burger and fries. and now you're serving tater tots too. >> and sweet potatoes. >> jeff: sweet potatoes, better for work out. that's a good carb. i like it too. more with mark wahlberg after this.
12:03 am
the $6 meal deal is here. it starts with dunkin's legendary coffee, a toasty, melty bacon egg and cheese sandwich, and a crispy, crumbly order of hashbrowns. it's kind of the biggest deal in breakfast. the $6 meal deal - available now. old spice gentleman's super hydration body wash. (whispered) vanilla and shea. 24/7 moisturization with vitamin b3. (knock on the door) are you using all the old spice? oops. ♪ (old spice mnemonic) ♪ ♪ there's one drink every bartender wants to serve. it's not an old fashioned, or a manhattan. because every bartender's least favorite drink to serve you, is one too many. ♪
12:04 am
to amazon pharmacy. she didn't. (over speaker) price check in pharmacy. all mom had to do was use amazon pharmacy. and her meds would get delivered right to her door.
12:05 am
i'll say what city hall insiders won't. we have a drug, homelessness, and economic recovery crisis, because the system that's supposed to fix things is the problem. record budgets. fewer officers. business killing bureaucracy. the insiders won't change a system built for their benefit. i'm daniel lurie and san francisco needs a mayor unafraid to take on the status quo,
12:06 am
bring accountability, and stop the excuses. [ding] [upbeat music] ♪ yeah, baby, i like it like that ♪ ♪ i like it like that, i like it like that ♪ ♪ si a ti te quiero mi amor, i like it like that ♪ ♪ eeeeeh, baby, i said i like it like that ♪ ♪ stomp your feet if you think i'm neat ♪ ♪ clap your hands if you want some more ♪ ♪ i said i like it like that ♪ this is a “got-up-too- fast-from-tying-your-shoes” back injury. lucky for you, amazon one medical can help. they're great for “sneeze-related”
12:07 am
back injuries, too. ♪ oh, god, i'm okay. miss, miss! you got to be kidding. [ cheering ] >> thank god halle berry comes in and takes care of her. she was tough.
12:08 am
>> jeff: so no action in the movie. any action? >> nah, it's a little heavy on the drama side. but lots of action, lots of humor. >> jeff: i saw this whole movie. i love this movie. how about that? you and halle berry are so charming together and so romantic. >> and i've always been such a big fan of hers. i've known her. i met her, i think probably the first time was 17. and i always wanted to work with her. she was the ideal person for this role. the movie really came from this idea where i'm probably not going to get cast as james bond. [ bleep ] so how about if i do my own version of blue collar version of james bond, the jersey james bond in this movie. [ cheering and applause ] >> jeff: james bond. i love james bond. did you ever want to be james bond? >> you should be james bond. i don't think i quite fit the criteria. >> jeff: it's so good. so good. you and halle. wait a minute. oh, that's fantastic action. is that all, are some of those
12:09 am
stunt cuts, are some of those stunt people falling into the glass and stuff? >> i would try to do as little as possible. but halle, halle does everything. so when they're like okay, you guys want to do this? and she kind of looks at you, you're okay, you just have to say yes. she does it all. and she just directed her own movie where she was a ufc fighter, and she direct, wrote, starred. she is incredible. you can't not show up when she is doing it. >> jeff: but hey, you obviously can do any stunt in the world. but are you afraid of heights like i am? because in this movie you've been training for years because you're a construction guy. they get you in a stunt. >> fired by those cool shots of people that work on the new york skyline, sitting on those beams floating in air, eating a sandwich out of a lunch pail. you'll see me doing that in the movie. i'm not -- i was never afraid of heights, but i certainly don't like them now. so when i got up there, they
12:10 am
were okay, let go. and i'm holding on. and i got a wire on me. but i'm still pretty high. you got to just relax and eat your sandwich. oh my god. and jumping from beam to beam on all the roofs, it was a little nerve-racking. >> jeff: isn't that parkour? is that parkour? >> it's like parkour. thank god my stuntman, chase, who is very young, very fit, he is a parkour expert. so any time halle wasn't there, we'd let chase get in there and do his thing. >> jeff: that's amazing. i don't know what happens. it does change a little bit. is it your inner ear or something? but i don't like heights here. and that harness, i just went up in the harness recently. >> that's the worst. >> jeff: that doesn't feel so good. >> no. >> jeff: but i don't like it so much either. >> i would rather let the experts do that. >> jeff: i know. hey, how about this. oh, oh, how about this. i was just going to say, though, i have a kind of credo now after a while. you can't be good in a movie unless the director is really good. >> yes. >> jeff: i have loved you so much in "boogie nights" and "the
12:11 am
departed" and "i heart huckabees.” you kind of have to get with a terrific director, don't you? >> yes. for me, the choice was always based around filmmaker. it was always filmmaker oriented. penny marshall gave me my first job. i riley credit her with even giving me a career. but then i also realize at the same time script and part are equally important because if you get to the place where you're above the title and you're making a movie where you're compromising on the script or the part or remaking a classic that shouldn't be remade, and you're going get a little bit of the brunt of that if it doesn't work out, so i decided to be a little more selfish in making sure it's script first, part and filmmaker, all three parts equally important, and that being the criterion when making a decision. but yes, i've been fortunate enough to work with some of the greatest filmmakers of all time. >> jeff: you're so smart. there is another thing i'd like to talk to you. >> come to the set, chatting between takes one day.
12:12 am
>> jeff: that would be delightful. or let's go to your wahlburgers and have a burger after the show. >> we can do that too. [ applause ] >> jeff: "the union" premieres friday on netflix. and we're going to be right back with rob delaney. [ cheering and applause ] teachers have students whose families cannot afford any school supplies. subaru and our retailers are there to help by giving millions of dollars in funding along with school supplies students need. we call it “the subaru love promise” and we are proud to be the largest corporate supporter of adoptaclassroom.org. it's just one of the reasons forbes ranked subaru the number one automotive brand for social impact. subaru. more than a car company.
12:13 am
hey ump! you need your eyes checked! yeah, things are getting fuzzy! then go to america's best! why? for a comprehensive, quality eye exam! i'll go! good call! get two pairs and an eye exam for $79.95 at america's best. mom, with these sandwiches, geti'm gonna be the coolestam guy in the lunchroom. i need to practice my cool guy greetings. 'sup. 'sup. 'sup. detect this: living with hiv, robert learned he can stay undetectable with fewer medicines. that's why he switched to dovato. dovato is a complete hiv treatment for some adults. no other complete hiv pill uses fewer medicines to help keep you undetectable than dovato.
12:14 am
detect this: marnina learned that most hiv pills contain 3 or 4 medicines. dovato is as effective with just 2. if you have hepatitis b, don't stop dovato without talking to your doctor. don't take dovato if you're allergic to its ingredients or taking dofetilide. this can cause serious or life-threatening side effects. if you have a rash or allergic reaction symptoms, stop dovato and get medical help right away. serious or life-threatening lactic acid buildup and liver problems can occur. tell your doctor if you have kidney or liver problems, or if you are pregnant, breastfeeding, or considering pregnancy. dovato may harm an unborn baby. most common side effects are headache, nausea, diarrhea, trouble sleeping, tiredness, and anxiety. detect this: you could stay undetectable with fewer medicines. ask your doctor about dovato. i'm andrea, and this is why i switched to shopify. it gave me so much peace of mind. if we make a change, my site's not going to go down. and just knowing that i have a platform that we can rely on, that is gold to us. start your free trial today.
12:15 am
fridays frydays it's almost like whoever named the best day of the week was trying to tell us to celebrate it with fries. free fries friday at mcdonald's. ba da ba ba ba ♪limu emu♪ ♪& doug.♪ and if we win, we get to tell you how liberty mutual customizes car insurance so you only pay for what you need. isn't that what you just did? service! ♪stand back i'm going to show ya,♪ ♪how doug and limu roll, yeah!♪
12:16 am
♪ ♪you know you got to live it,♪ ♪ ♪if you want to win...♪ [bump] time out! only pay for what you need. ♪liberty, liberty,♪ ♪liberty, liberty.♪
12:17 am
this week on "jimmy kimmel live!" jimmy's back with peter dinklage, brian tie rehenry,
12:18 am
kumail nanjiani, and billie eilish, plus music f legend. why choose a mobile network built for places you'll probably never be... ...instead of for where you are most of the time? xfinity mobile was designed for where you need it most. now xfinity internet customers can buy one line of unlimited and get one free for a year. (qb) this is it. one play. this is when we find out... (luke) hey, quick question. student body math proficiency, would we say it's good? fair? satisfactory? (player 1) what? (luke) like a percentage, if you had to guess. (players) hey, get out of here man. get off the field. (luke) understood. (players) security! grab him! (marci) great student-teacher ratio... (luke) marci! we've got to go! marci! we have got to go!
12:19 am
we bring you the real, in-depth school info. (marci) what were you thinking? (luke) i don't know. i. don't know. (vo) ding dong! homes.com ♪ ♪ is it possible to be more capable? and more practical? be able to perform here. and here. make a statement while barely making a sound. and command the road, as well as what lies ahead. how we get there matters. ♪ ♪ inez, let me ask you, you're using head & shoulders, right? only when i see flakes. then i switch back to my regular shampoo.
12:20 am
you should use it every wash, otherwise the flakes will come back. he's right, you know. is that tiny troy? the ingredients in head & shoulders keep the microbes that cause flakes at bay. microbes, really? they're always on your scalp... but good news, there's no itchiness, dryness or flakes down here. i love tiny troy. and his tiny gorgeous hair. make every wash count! and for stubborn dandruff, try head & shoulders clinical strength. why does special k have 10 grams of protein? (♪) yep. that's why. special k. special for a reason. ♪ which you do you want to be today? at tj maxx, you can afford to turn your closet into a place of endless expression. with the quality you deserve, styles you crave, and prices you love.
12:21 am
♪ ♪ there are many ways to dress your mcdonald's hot, crispy fries. but which is best...? is it with ketchup? sweet 'n sour? dare i say au naturale...? ♪ when your clothes come out looking newer, longer... you get to take them for a spin. again... ...and again... ...and again. persil cleans and helps keep clothes looking newer, longer. get that new clothes feeling. wash with persil. on chewy, save 35% and shop all your favorite brands. for any taste, or any diet, at prices you love. delivered fast. for low prices, for life of pets, there's chewy. what is that? mom, do we have more gum?
12:22 am
clorox cleans 100s of messes and kills 99.9% of viruses and bacteria. we've got your back to school
12:23 am
♪ >> jeff: welcome back. welcome back. music from grace bowers & the hodge podge is on the way. our next guest is a very talented comedian, actor, writer, and director, who also happens to be a member of deadpool's posse. now he stars alongside vince vaughn in the new series called "bad monkey.” >> was there any other reason he would have killed her? you said something about a secret boyfriend. >> yeah, i heard on the phone at the funeral, some dude named christopher in the bahamas. >> they let me drive it off the lot in nassau right on to the ferry. >> do you really think that's what a new widow would be driving? >> people grieve in very different ways. i want to show tilly. she is going love it. till, isn't it cute, baby?
12:24 am
>> jeff: "bad monkey" premieres wednesday on apple tv+. please welcome rob delaney. [ applause ] ♪ ♪ >> jeff: you look fantastic. you look slim as cat. >> thank you, thanks. >> jeff: and a brown suit. is that a slim brown suit? >> i'm breaking all the rules. brown with black, it's crazy. >> jeff: oh, no, that's completely correct. >> it's okay? >> jeff: what do i know, but you look fantastic. >> thank you. >> jeff: like a handsome leading man that you are. and the last time i saw you, i expected to see you, and i didn't see you backstage with a big mustache. >> i often have them, but i'd so much hair on my face for so long that a few months ago i was what's under here? and this is what's there. i'll cover it up again soon.
12:25 am
for the summer. >> jeff: you look fantastic. now look here, ooh, "bad monkey.” it's fun. >> "bad monkey.” >> jeff: you're so good in this. >> thank you. >> jeff: i saw the first episode, and then saw -- do you know what the fourth episode is? >> boy, do i. woo! >> jeff: that's your episode. oh, my gosh, we can't give it away. we can't spoil it. but can you tell them anything about anything? >> i can say nasty business. how about that? i do a little. and then people get excited. they want to know what that is. >> jeff: yeah yeah. it's one of my favorite things. carl hiaasen. >> he wrote the material from which this springs. i read a couple of his novels. >> jeff: they're very enjoyable. really wonderful. how close is this to the book? it's called "bad monkey.” >> it's great. and bill lawrence did an incredible job of adapting it. my understanding is after the success of ted lasso, apple said to him, what do you want to do next, buddy? and he said it's bad monkey time.
12:26 am
so a real labor of love for him, and we all benefit, yeah. incredible script. >> jeff: they're lucky to get you. >> thank you. >> jeff: and now you live in london. >> for some reason, i do. yeah, i'm american. i moved there ten years ago to do a show called "catastrophe.” [ applause ] and we wound up staying. >> jeff: and you had -- you're a citizen i believe. >> i am. i am as british, i don't know, somebody with teeth that go this way and that way. >> jeff: look at those choppers. >> and the color, i've been going to black coffee. they're a nice manila. kind of a brownish, which i work hard to maintain. but they are straight. >> jeff: and isn't there a you and you passed isn't there a test i would need to pass if i wanted to be a british citizen? >> yes. >> jeff: because i love london and i recently worked there myself. >> oh, great. i did have to take a citizenship, which includes --
12:27 am
i'm sure the audience will know what the official flower of scotland. >> jeff: uh-oh. the thistle. >> i think we're all british here. what else. what's the most famous anglo saxon poem. >> jeff: wait a minute, wait a minute. >> beowulf. you're correct, ma'am. it's stuff like that. if you learn that, they let you stay. >> jeff: did they really ask you those things? >> absolutely. and my wife and i took the test at the same time. and we were praying one of us could beat the other so we could lord it over. so it's pass/fail. we found out we're just british. we're garden variety british. >> jeff: that's so funny you mentioned that. are you competitive in any way with your wife, now that you mentioned it? >> in something like that, yes. in the 50 times we've played chess together, she's beaten me 50 times. sometimes we'll do a local 10-k. we did a half marathon. she beat me by over half an hour. she is a very competitive and i lose at all things.
12:28 am
which is best, you know, in the war that is a marriage that endures, it's best to just lie down and lose. [ laughter ] >> jeff: so interesting. now we've got -- oh, by the way, how about that "deadpool & wolverine.” [ cheering ] oh, my gosh, congratulations. >> thanks. >> jeff: you know, i'm not a money, i'm not a business guy, but it's made like a billion dollars. >> i has, yeah. when you put me in your film these days, it tends to make a billion dollars. [ cheering ] >> jeff: i believe it. hey, how about these pictures? wait a minute. now you just did something very -- oh, it's you in costume. there are pictures -- [ laughter ] >> yeah, super upsetting. >> jeff: now wait a minute. there are a couple of things that we have to draw people's attention to. not the -- and it's not the birkenstocks or some reasonable
12:29 am
facsimile. but it's i think i'm seeing, and it's not what's going on around your belly button area. that's very provocative. >> yeah. >> jeff: but i think there are some nipple clamps, if i can say that. is that what that is? >> i'll allow it. yes, there are nipple clamps in the film worn by me. >> jeff: is that your choice? >> no. i read the script. and i was like ryan, reynolds, are you sure about this? and he is i've never been more sure in my life. i don't know if they have pictures of the makeup artists applying the nipple clamps to me. but we have that awful picture that you just saw, which by the way, the suit is so tight, and they wanted my character to have a large -- >> jeff: we buried the lead, yeah. >> so they first were, i don't know what, socks? and they would put that in. but then the suit is so tight, it would press it down. they wound up having to use really anatomical -- [ laughter ] oh, baby!
12:30 am
i'm so sorry that you have to see that. >> jeff: i like it very much. i don't know where you and -- what are we seeing of you? [ laughter ] first of all, your abdomen. is that your -- >> not my real belly for a poor wardrobe assistant had to come in, they're making me photograph your belly. and they took the picture and made a fake belly. why not use the real gross one? and then the anatomically correct rock-hard situation that they had to put down there with joints. oh, horrific. >> jeff: but wait a minute, i don't know if it just slipped out, but you said anatomically correct? >> no, no, i don't look like, no god, no, no. >> jeff: i would be remiss if i didn't ask. >> thank you. >> jeff: well, very, very good. well, wait a minute. you know what i want to say to you? >> what's that? >> jeff: a billion thanks. i say a billion in honor of your box office achievement. >> i take full credit. >> jeff: and i say a billion thanks. you look absolutely fantastic.
12:31 am
>> you too. >> jeff: it's lovely. look at you, handshake. it's so great to meet you. thank you so, so much. may i say -- [ cheering and applause ] may i say more for our benefit than yours that "bad monkey" premieres wednesday on apple tv+, and "deadpool & wolverine" is in theaters right now. [ cheering and applause ] we're going to be right back with grace bowers & the hodge podge. ♪
12:32 am
i only meant to order five. there's not enough money in my account for these. i'm gonna get charged. two things i just can't deal with. overdraft charges. and garden gnomes. but your bmo smart advantage checking account gives you an extra day to avoid an overdraft fee. nice to see a bank cutting people some slack. mistakes happen. and we give you time to correct them. so, you don't like gnomes huh? what about that one? that one i like. a lot. ♪ bmo ♪
12:33 am
>> jeff: well, that's it for the talking part of the show. but now it's time for music. thanks to mark wahlberg and rob delaney. "nightline" is next. but first, her album is called "wine on venus.” here with the song "tell me why you do that", grace bowers & the hodge podge. [ applause ] ♪ ♪ woo, yeah, yeah ♪
12:34 am
♪ you might not be clean but you sure clean up i see that fresh number seven you got at supercuts ♪ ♪ you got your line and it hardly would ♪ ♪ you ain't versace hibachi but what you got's got me good ♪ ♪ when you put your hands on my waist i can see that look on your face ♪ ♪ tell me why you do that why you do that for reciprocity ♪ ♪ tell me why you do that when you knew that you're just my cup of tea ♪ ♪ i just can't help myself it's my chemistry ♪ ♪ tell me why you do that when you know what that do to me ♪ ♪
12:35 am
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
12:36 am
♪ why you do that, you do that ♪ ♪ tell me why you do that why you do that for reciprocity ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ why you do that, you do that ♪ ♪ tell me why you do that why you do that for reciprocity ♪ ♪ tell me why you do that when when you're just my cup of tea ♪ ♪ i just can't help myself, why
12:37 am
you do that when you know what that does to me ♪ [ cheering and applause ] ♪ tonight in your mighty name we pray. amen. >> amen. on tour with missy elliott. >> is it worth it? let me work it. >> working it on
tv
Jeff Goldblum guest hosts; actor Mark Wahlberg; actor Rob Delaney; Grace Bowers & The Hodge Podge perform.
- TOPIC FREQUENCY
- Dovato 8, Jeff Goldblum 6, Rob Delaney 6, Mark Wahlberg 6, James 5, Halle 5, Guillermo 5, Us 4, Marci 4, Cleto 4, Jimmy Kimmel 4, Kimmel 4, Brown 3, Apple 3, Luke 3, Parkour 3, Halle Berry 3, Venus 3, Allstate 3, Australia 3
- Network
- ABC
- Duration
- 01:02:57
- Rating
- TV14
- Scanned in
- Richmond, CA, USA
- Language
- English
- Source
- Comcast Cable
- Tuner
- Virtual Ch. 707
- Video Codec
- h264
- Audio Cocec
- ac3
- Pixel width
- 1280
- Pixel height
- 720
- Audio/Visual
- sound, color
- Item Size
- 2.3G
Notes
This material may be protected by copyright law (Title 17 U.S. Code).
0 Views
Uploaded by TV Archive on
Terms of Service (last updated 12/31/2014)